Why did I marry myself?

It started with an unusual dream.

In my dream, it was the final episode of Sex and the City. But instead of Carrie marrying Mr. Big., something else happened. There was a wedding where each character married themselves in a collective ceremony with vows.

I shared this dream with a Jungian friend who specializes in romantic relationships, and he encouraged me to have the ceremony that I dreamed about — for myself. He reminded me that self-love and wholeness is the foundation of partnership. My dream was about marrying my inner masculine and feminine in service of wholeness.

I realized that it’s time for me to live “happily ever NOW” (a term coined by my dear friend Jen Aly) instead of “happily ever after.”

I chose The Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, because it’s the place that launched my commitment to personal transformation 11 years ago. And it’s the place where I’ve always wanted to get married.

So I bought myself a sacred heart necklace (it’s inscribed: “You make the world a better place.”). I made a list of all that I want to release (and burned it). I wrote vows of commitment to myself, vows that actually moved me to tears. I celebrated with a soak in the splendid hot tubs, a glass of wine at dinner and an astrology reading offered as a “wedding gift” from a presenter at Esalen.

I was feeling empowered because I had made sacred vows in all areas of my life — to me.

This type of ceremony is powerful whether you are married, single or dating someone. We all need to commit to and cherish ourselves on the deepest fundamental level.

It is possible to live with a deep connection and commitment to our lives and to what we want to create.

A marriage ceremony is one way. For me, it was an empowering message to live happily ever now instead of thinking that when I have a husband, my life will be complete. We all do that to varying degrees. It could be a job, a house, a car, a certain amount in our bank account that we believe will make us happy.

Yet the reality is that when you are present to the gifts of your life and willing to meet life on life’s terms, you create the space for miracles to enter. The truth is that things and people don’t make us happy. We have the power to make ourselves happy by committing to creating an extraordinary life and choosing to love ourselves unconditionally!

Self-love is the foundation and heart of creating a life that we love.

Surprisingly, I’ve already had women ask me if I will be leading group self-love commitment ceremonies. I am drawn to leading a retreat in Ubud, Bali, that would culminate in a ceremony of meeting your beloved – YOU!  My six months in Bali in 2011 transformed my life, and I am called to share the healers, water temple purification ceremonies, lush energy of the land and deep spirituality with other soul sisters. If a retreat in lush and lovely Bali sounds like something you’re called to participate in, please send me an email.

May you live happily ever now.

www.workthatmakesadifference.com

A new generation of social activists is emerging at this critical juncture in our planet’s evolution. These young leaders are not simply idealists—and contrary to some stereotypes, they are not mired in denial or despair about the current world situation. Rather, these activists are acutely aware of the inner and outer forces that perpetuate the destructive velocities in our world, and drawing on Gandhi’s teaching to be the change they wish to see, they are on a journey to embody a holistic, life-affirming vision. This is a generation tapping into the collective imagination in order to revision, rewrite, and revolutionize the healing and transformation of our planet.

An Evolutionary Journey
Today’s young advocates for change recognize the many rich traditions they have inherited, and they know they stand on the shoulders of pioneers who have fought throughout history to create a more just and inclusive world. At the same time, they see that the world is different now. They face complex realities of environmental destruction, oil addiction and depletion, an unsustainable consumerist culture, a global corporate economy with rising poverty, and daily reports of war and terrorism. Yet they are also living in an era when continuing advances in communication and technology support their organizing efforts and sense of global interconnectedness.

“Our generation has heard the call to embody a new cultural identity,” says Luke Taylor, 19, who will be attending Stanford University in the fall. “We are in a transition phase of our evolution where a collective creativity is coming to the foreground.” Taylor is a facilitator and training coordinator of the Awakening the Dreamer Symposium in the San Francisco Bay Area, one of many symposiums growing in number throughout the United States and other countries including Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. Participantsexplore the link between three of humanity’s most critical concerns—environmental sustainability, social justice, and spiritual fulfillment—to facilitate shifts in perspectives and choices around the habitual actions they take each day.

Ocean Robbins, 32, founded YES! (Youth for Environmental Sanity) in 1990 when he was 16. Through school assemblies and conference presentations, training workshops, camps, youth jams, and action guides, YES! connects, inspires, and empowers young change-makers worldwide to join forces. Seeing both the planetary destruction occurring and the huge numbers of people working for change, Robbins observes: “We were born with the possibility beating in our hearts for a world that is more humane, more in harmony with the earth, and more aligned with the forces of sustainability and justice. I think we are an immune system that is responding to the crisis of our time.”
A supporter of youth-led projects and a founder of NextNow Collaboratory, a synergistic web of relationships focused on social transformation, Claudia Welss shares a similar observation: “I believe every generation is born uniquely capable of facing the challenges of the world they’re born into. It’s part of evolution’s intelligence. This generation is so incredible because the challenges are so incredible, and a big part of their gift to the world is to model the fuller realization of a potential we all share.”

Inner Change, Outer Change
            For this new breed of activists, inner transformation and social transformation are inseparably meshed. An eclectic mix of spiritual teachings and traditions informs their engagement with the suffering of the world—from meditation, yoga, and indigenous practices to personal growth workshops, the creative arts, and various somatic practices.
Isaak Brown, 18, got an early start in his spiritual practice. Throughout his teen years, Brown served as class president, worked to clean up the ocean, and volunteered as an HIV and health peer educator at his high school. When he was 17, he read Christopher Queen’s Engaged Buddhism in the West (Wisdom Publications, 2000), which led him to a teen meditation retreat and the discovery of Vipassana meditation. “After the retreat, my service changed to a spiritual practice,” Brown recalls. “I would no longer run away from fear or pain, particularly the pain of what society is doing to us. I would bring compassion and nonduality to my work.” Today he lives in Seattle, where he is involved with the Americorps program known as City Year, which unites youth of all backgrounds for a demanding year of community service and leadership development in 16 U. S. communities, as well as in Johannesburg, South Africa. Brown also teaches meditation to middle-school students and assists the Buddhist Peace Fellowship with teen meditation retreats.

Shilpa Jain, 33, of Udaipur, India, works with a movement called Shikshantar, or The People’s Institute for Rethinking Education and Development. She points out, “The intention is to question what we can do to live in alignment with our values and convictions and to challenge the institutions that are taking control of our lives. We look at how we can regenerate diverse localities and cultures, as well as other ways of knowing and being outside the dominant model.” Shilpa has also spent the past four years organizing and facilitating world youth jams for YES! She explains that Jainism informs her work through its concepts of “anekantavaad, which means a respect for diversity and many paths,” and “ahimsa, which means an absence of violence.”

Many of today’s young activists are influenced by the practice and philosophy of yoga. They recognize that an integrative approach to personal and planetary transformation is an embodied one. Yoga teacher Seane Corn, for example, is on a campaign to “take yoga off the mat and into the world.” Corn’s activism began in her 20s, when she focused on women’s issues, particularly sexually abuse among girls. Today she is engaged in “cause-related marketing” for YouthAIDS, which uses media, pop culture, music, theater, and sports to reach 600 million young people in more than 60 countries with life-saving services. Her vision is to rally the 20 million yoga practitioners that generate $1 billion into the economy each year. “If we’re all part of a global consciousness,” says Corn, “we have an innate responsibility to do something about social crises. We start by healing what is within us; then together we can start a global campaign for compassion.” She emphasizes the Hopi wisdom that guides her: “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

Reclaiming Indigenous Wisdom
Like Corn, many young activists are returning for guidance to the wisdom of our ancestors. They are exploring how indigenous traditions can be integrated into their paths, embracing deep ecology and earth-based ritual as an integral part of their activism.

Marcella Eversole, 33, is a cofounder of Spiral Muse, an organization that organizes international events to promote healing and partnership between indigenous and nonindigenous women, as well as coordinating women’s circles to nurture leadership. “In 2004, I attended an International Women’s Council in Guatemala, and this experience woke up something very deep inside of me,” Eversole says. “The indigenous leaders there structured their communities so that the spiritual, social, and political were all interconnected. They said that their ceremonies have been preserved for precisely this moment in human evolution, when the human spirit must be nourished to face today’s ecological challenges.”

Heddi Lorraine Neale is the president of Tinamit Junan Uleu/Earth Peoples United, which is guided by traditional Mayan initiatives for developing sustainable local and international alliances. “Most of us have lost the ability to cultivate deep relationships within ourselves, our communities, and with the earth itself, and therefore we cannot enable our communities to work together to meet our needs and ensure our survival,” Neale observes. “Indigenous wisdom has maintained its connection to the elemental and natural worlds and its relationship with the cycles of the cosmos. Unfortunately, many ancient traditions are being lost to a world that is becoming increasingly separated from the natural rhythms of time. There are few elders who still maintain the wisdom gained from a lifetime of living in the ways passed down by their ancestors. The wisdom they’re now sharing is some of the last, and they share it, hoping they can wake people up to see, feel, and understand the bigger picture.”

The young are listening, and they are reclaiming the sacred teachings in many ways—through ceremonies, shamanic journeywork, vision quests, nature retreats, and many other forms. With reverence and humility, they are returning to the source of wisdom and learning to lead.

Building Community: Virtual and Real
At the heart of this generation’s approach to social transformation is community. Through community they fulfill a desire to connect to a like-minded tribe and mobilize around issues that matter to them. They also recognize that working through the inevitable challenges of community is an important part of spiritual development. The rugged individualism of past generations has given way to a neotribalism, where activists see their web of relationships as a microcosm of what is possible on the macro level.

In the age of cyberspace, new communities emerge at hyper speed. Says Erik Davis, author of Techgnosis: Myth, Magic, and Mysticism in the Age of Information (Serpents Tail, 1999): “There is a return to tribalism that is similar to the communal experiments of the 1960s. Much of this has emerged from the rave movement—and even the focus on raw food. The way of this generation is to throw themselves into collective communities through the Internet and to create affinities. There is experimentation with group culture and new social forms. Neotribal networks help these activists get things done outside the consumerist, individualistic mentality.” Davis is currently working with fellow editor Daniel Pinchbeck on Evolver, a new magazine committed to a positive vision of transformative culture and social engagement. Like Davis, Pinchbeck sees this generation leveraging the possibilities inherent in new media technology, and he notes that they do it at the blink of an eye: “Every time there is a new media technology, it contributes to a whole new political and social structure.”

Among the innovative ways to merge spirituality and social change, David Nicol is excited by the potential of what he calls “subtle activism”—engagement in collective spiritual practices that subtly shift the collective consciousness. “A prime example,” he explains, “is the phenomenon of global meditation, in which hundreds, thousands, sometimes millions of people gather around the planet at the same time for a period of shared silence and shared intent for peace on earth. These kinds of practices, using leading-edge Internet social networking and collaborative technologies, have an enormous—though mostly untapped—potential to help tilt things in a favorable direction.”

The Power of the Arts and Imagination
The generation awakening is embracing its relationship to the arts and media, which have always held the potential to ignite the imagination and reshape culture. This is a generation that loves to ritualize, beat drums, move their bodies to an eclectic range of music, write poetry, and use media, technology, and community events to share vision with an international tribe.

Poet Lyla Johnston, 16, recently led a peace walk through her hometown of Taos, New Mexico, and helps to run her high school’s recycling program. She has won countless poetry slams throughout the country and took first place in the National Anti-Tobacco Second-Hand Slam in New York City, sponsored by Do Something, an organization that makes community service among the young “as cool as sports.” Johnston says, “Poetry is one of the most powerful forms of activism I’ve ever seen; it appeals to not just the logical part of an audience but also to the emotional. I write about anything, from the relentless actions of advertising agencies, to the war, to the potential of the people.”

Derrick Ashong, 30, is a Harvard-educated scholar, change-maker, musician, and actor, who started the Sweet Mother Project. A group of artists, social-change leaders, and educators from around the globe use the tools of popular culture—music, film, and television—to stimulate cultural empowerment for the people of Africa. At the forefront of the project is Soulfège, a band fusing funk, reggae, hip-hop, and highlife. “Music is a profound reflection of the human spirit.” says Ashong, “[It] can be a movement to change the world.”

An Emerging Global Consciousness
The consciousness rising in this generation is one of nonduality, based not on the stereotypical activist’s “us-versus-them” thinking but on interconnection and a sense of oneness with all of life. “The twenty-first century is giving way to a strategy of ‘whole-systems change’ that seeks to transform the world at multiple levels simultaneously—individually and collectively, culturally and structurally,” says Joshua Gorman, a member of the newly forming Word Spirit Youth Council. “This is an ‘ecological’ mode of thought that views our planet as a holistic living system and human society as an integral matrix of social spheres.”

Ryan Feinstein, 21, directed the 2006 Youth-in-Action Quest for Global Healing Conference in Ubud, Bali. Feinstein links the interconnectedness of all life to humanity’s need to evolve to “a mind-set that allows for all perspectives and beliefs to be heard. For example, to never learn about the Islamic religion or never be exposed to anyone who is Muslim makes it easy to maintain a perception of Muslims as ‘terrorists.’ A global consciousness means we embrace and try to understand everyone.”

Challenges and Opportunities
As remarkable as this generation awakening is, they are not immune to the difficulties inherent in activist work, such asgarnering financial support and resources. Often, they find themselves reinventing the wheel, unwittingly overlapping services with other like-minded groups. Building alliances with similar organizations and mentors to leverage their resources in the most efficient and sustainable ways is vital.

There is also the challenge of bridging different worlds—business, nonprofit, and government, for example. Like shamans, these young leaders must walk among many realities. Sometimes this results in a powerful fusion, as with the growing movement of social entrepreneurship where businesses embrace social responsibility. Other times it is challenging for the “language” of one sector—such as business—to communicate in the language of another sector—such as a nonprofit. And as many traditional structures come tumbling down, the new ones that have yet to take shape require skills and capacities not traditionally valued in a capitalist culture—collaboration, empathy, humility, courage, nonduality, compassion, and reverence.

This generation also faces the deeper challenge, one shared by many of us, of bringing their spirituality and values into their worldly work. The prognosis is hopeful, though, as many create new forms of work through healing modalities, complementary therapies, green businesses, life coaching, and a host of other “social profits” committed to making a difference. Circle Center in Fairfax, California, is one example of a community hub that houses a healing center; a space for classes, workshops and circles; a small shop; and a community house with a collaborative garden. It serves as a focal point for the healers, teachers, visionaries, and artists who connect a growing web of people and help incubate collaborative projects, such as the Global Health Foundation, a network of holistic healers who have experienced breakthroughs treating youth for mental health and attention disorder issues.

As for the challenge of burnout, Jonathan Gustin, 32, who founded Green Sangha, believes the term “activist” itself is problematic. “If I brush my teeth, it’s self-care. If I work to change the destruction of the forests, it’s considered activism but actually it’s self-care. Caring for the forest is caring for my body; we are one with the planet.” He underscores the importance of thoughts, words, and actions rooted in love: “The challenge is to stay humble, because it’s easy to become a fundamentalist.”

The Hope of Visionary Activism
Members of generation awakening are embodied, emboldened revolutionaries taking a stand for a new world, and they are a growing force in the global movement for a just, inclusive, and sustainable future. “I think the best part of our generation’s form of activist work is the fact that we are working to create something new,” says Karen Berzanski, 27, who recently created K-Turn Productions, an organization employing media, youth education, and community outreach programs to promote a better vision for our world. “We are not fighting against systems that aren’t working; we are forming new ideas and projects that we hope will naturally and organically become the norm.”

Van Jones, founder of the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights in San Francisco, who regularly works with today’s youth, commends their power and promise: “This next generation is open to a wisdom-based approach to solving problems. We are seeing a generation emerging in an age of hybridity, where things are coming together in new ways. This generation isn’t limited by binary thinking; they talks about ‘ands.’ And they don’t see a stark difference between inner and outer change. They seem to be especially equipped to help the human family navigate the choppy waters we’ve inherited at this moment in history.”

Tarra Christoff, MA is the founder of Work that Makes a Difference Coaching www.workthatmakesadifference.com. She helps people create meaningful, sustainable work that makes a difference. She has a masters in psychology and completed the Co-Active Coaching Training at the Coaches Training Institute. Tarra has taught workshops at The Omega Institute, California Institute for Integral Studies, and Young Women Social Entrepreneurs (San Francisco). She has a meditation practice and is passionate about international travel, feminine leadership, and creative expression.  She has studied with renowned Zen master, teacher, poet and activist, Thich Nhat Hanh.

Occupy Work You Love

Here are some lessons I’m learning from the Occupy movement that are relevant to creating work you love:

It’s OK to feel fed up. While it may not be comfortable for many of us, anger is a common response to violation of all kinds. Like all emotions, anger holds the potential to be channeled creatively. I’ve worked with many clients who are hanging on to work that deep down they know is not in alignment with their deepest selves. And that can feel like a violation of their souls.
Often, they are angry at themselves and/or the organizations they work for. In order to survive, they believe that they must swallow that anger. Yet swallowing anger and engaging in work that we detest inevitably leads to the body’s rebellion. It’s no surprise that many of the people who are using this tactic and “trying to make it work” end up in the hospital or suffering from chronic injuries. Sometimes, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, you have to draw a line and say enough is enough. Don’t repress the anger. Feel it, and build an exit strategy.

Authorize yourself to change business as usual. The Occupy movement understands the power of self-authorization. At Occupy Oakland, I witnessed people empower themselves to take the microphone and speak out on issues that matter to them, including the closing of 50 public schools in Oakland, how they were denied health care or lost their homes due to corporate greed. They didn’t wait for permission. They see a problem with business as usual, and they have decided to be a part of a solution. And that change is happening. They were victorious with several change initiatives: Bank of America rescinded its proposed $5 ATM fee, The Port in Oakland closed, and I heard one great story of a bank initiated eviction of a 86-year old and her daughter. After taking one look at her, the hirees refused. And the movement itself has spread like wildfire across the world. Likewise, if you want your career to transform, you must be willing to become the author of your own life and take action. No one is going to take action for you.

Don’t make demands. While you need to have an inspired action plan to create work you love, you don’t want to contaminate it with the energy of demands. Once you make demands, you are pigeonholed. While it is important to formulate a clear action plan, Occupy is in a brainstorming phase, a place where it is important to be inclusive, open-minded and explore all options. You can’t really demand work you love, you can only create it. As those within the Occupy movement are creating a vision of the economy they want to see, we each have the power to create our own economy. It starts with us.

Here are two great resources on this topic:
Occupy Love Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRtc-k6dhgs
“No Demand Big Enough” by Charles Eisenstein: http://www.realitysandwich.com/occupy_wall_street_no_demand_big_enough

Thrive with your tribe. Occupy gained momentum because representatives of the 99% banded together and supported each other with ideas, resources, time, energy, food, and dare-I-say-it, love. They expressed their discontent and took collective action. People who have community around them are more likely to succeed in any endeavor, especially creating work they love. As a career coach, I started to create group coaching options because I saw how much more quickly a supportive group can help us reach our goals (and have more fun doing it!). It’s important that you identify the support you need and allow yourself to receive it. What we can learn from Occupy is that gathering with people who can offer support is a surefire way to end isolation and begin to create change.

Get creative. At Occupy, I saw flash mobs dance to “I Will Survive,” posters made with creative gusto and creative protests like a Darth Vader who sat outside banks. We have a new model of activism, and it’s about creative participation. The people who change history have the ability to “think different.” Think: Gandhi’s Salt March, Steve Job’s technology revolution, and Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream. Creating work you love involves creativity and imagination. In fact, some of the most successful and happy people I know are taking the “road less travelled” and using the economic downturn to open new possibilities: innovative social entrepreneurs addressing social problems, individuals using technology to create new products, those returning to community college to pursue a passion. Even those who take a break from it all and spend time living in places such as Bali where they live like a King or Queen for under $2,000 a month.

Here’s the good news and the bad news. We have systems (ecological, political, employment) that are unsustainable and on the verge of collapse. Ayn Rand once famously said, “You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.” The reality is that we are on the verge of a huge paradigm shift. Once we accept this, we hold enormous power to create what we want – in our work lives, our economy and our culture. Understanding this is essential for creating work you love. The world is waiting for your innovation. We can choose to use this historical moment to create new systems, new paradigms, new organizations, new entrepreneurial ventures and new ways of being that support the creation a more sustainable and just world. Find the opportunities in the world for the way you want to work. Create that.

Tarra Christoff, MA is a coach who helps women create meaningful work that makes a difference. She has facilitated inspiring workshops for change agents at The Omega Institute, Young Women Social Entrepreneurs, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. Tarra is also the founder of the Career Transformation teleclass program for women. Visit www.workthatmakesadifference.com

Here are three ways to start debunking the myths and creating what you want, the feminine way.

Don’t “Just Do It”. If it were as easy as a Nike tagline, you would have done it by now. The reality is that our relationship with our work life is complex. We have a history that we are bringing to the work. For example, I have a client who came from a traumatic background, and she chooses workplaces are dysfunctional. Until she does some of the inner work to address this pattern, it’s quite likely that her next work environment will look similar. While there is a time and place for taking action, the best action comes from a place of inspiration and trust. The prevalent “Just Do It” sentiment often leads women to feel shame for not being further along than they are. Let it go and instead accept where you are. Acceptance–>Awareness–>Action is the formula that is more likely to bring the results you want. Don’t move into action for the sake of action. Let your actions be inspired!

Eat, Pray, Love. As women, we do best when our chalice is full. We have nothing to give to our work life if our cup is not full. When you have balance in your life – balance that comes from healthy eating, prayer (meditation/yoga/connecting to something greater than yourself), and most importantly, love – you connect to yourself. Loving yourself is perhaps the most important part of the formula for creating work you love. Your relationship with work is like building a healthy relationship with a partner. When you have a deep love of yourself, you are nourished and not needing work to fill a hole inside of you. Try filling yourself up with what you love, and then notice what and who you attract from that space.

Create a Web of Support. Women thrive when they have a supportive community. We do best when we link arms and see each other through difficult times. We like to give and receive support. In fact, we need that web of support to make shining our brightest lights possible. Right now, I encourage you to draw a circle with some lines radiating out from it. On each line, write the name of a woman who supports you. I invite you to connect with each of them and consider one thing she can do to support you in creating work you love. It might be a contact at an organization, a resume review, a brainstorming session. Or it could be emotional support – a reminder of your gifts, a fun night out with the girls, or being your bookend. (Bookending is a simple and powerful tool that’s great for taking difficult action. Just tell your friend what you plan to do. Then, once you’ve done it, let her know that too. It’s a easy way to get support — and accountability.)

Ready to create work you love – the feminine way?

Join a community of women who are inspired to make that happen in my 6-Week Transforming Your Career Teleclass. We start on August 9. Don’t miss the FREE preview teleclass, Creating Work You Love, on Tuesday, August 2, and the early bird special offer that ends at midnight on Wednesday, August 3.

Self authorizing means valuing yourself and your needs and desires enough to say: “I claim this for myself. I don’t need (fill-in-the-blank) to give me their permission, support, or encouragement.” It means deciding that YOU are the author of your life.

You can make that choice right now. And when you do, the results will be revolutionary. I promise you this one decision will lead you to showing up in a dramatically different way in your inner and outer worlds.

Here’s an example: Lisa has been talking for 10 years about starting a business that empowers women. She is hoping there will come a day when her partner is able to financially support her in leaving her job and starting this business. However, a decade later, it’s still not happening.

Lisa complains that her day job is “killing her soul.” She tosses and turns at night feeling anxious about going to work in the morning. She is plagued with thoughts like, “I’m not living the life I’m meant to. I’m not fulfilling my purpose.” Each day, she dreams about what it would be like to run a business in line with her values, but her worry, doubt, and fear prevent her from taking action.

What would happen if Lisa authorized herself to go for her vision? I’m not advocating that she quit her day job if that’s not financially viable. However, she certainly can start taking action, even while remaining in her current job. And I know that she will feel relief once she does.

What are some of the ways you might self-authorize?

●     Asking for what you need in a group setting

●     Asking your boss for the raise you deserve

●     Resting when you know you need to

●     Being proactive with dating instead of passively thinking it will just work out for you

●     Not waiting for an authority person to decide your value, but claiming it for yourself

What happens when you self-authorize?

●     You feel empowered, regardless of the outcome

●     You feel a newfound energy

●     Your friends and loved ones have a chance to support you 

●     New and unexpected opportunities arise because you are taking a stand for yourself

●     You feel a sense of authenticity that people appreciate (which in turn, creates openings for them to self-authorize, too)

What happens when you don’t self authorize?

●     Your energy feels stuck

●     Your creativity remains undeveloped

●     You have health challenges

●     You limit what is possible for your financial freedom

●     You no longer trust yourself and your instincts

What can help you self authorize?

Personally, I feel a sensation that tells me something isn’t right for me, or that sends a message about what I may need to say or do to stand in my power. I find that my body provides the clearest indicator that I need to self-authorize.

I used to think that discomfort meant it’s not right to take action. Now, I understand that I am simply stepping outside my comfort zone and it’s a sign that it would serve me to speak my truth. 

Each time I claim my truth and stop waiting for something outside of me to give me permission, I create more space in my life for what I truly want.

Recently, I followed my heart’s vision of living and coaching in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia. I gave myself permission to go for it, no matter what. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made! (The picture below is outside of a temple in Bali). 

If you know that your work is one place where you are not living your vision, I can assure you, from my work with hundreds of clients, that it is possible to change that.

Wishing you career independence!

Tarra

by Tarra Christoff | Common Ground Magazine

“Our calling is where our deepest gladness and the world’s hunger meets.”
—Frederick Buechner, theologian

 Do you feel a calling to create meaningful work that feeds your soul and the planet? There is no greater legacy than sharing your unique contribution with the world. To create work that feeds the planet and ourselves, we must listen to the guidance that earth provides: What is the earth’s calling for you?

Answering this question means recognizing that we each have a part to play in stewarding a sustainable and socially just world. When you find that place where your joy aligns with something the world needs, you will feel an authentic gladness in your work.

Here are some practices to help you create work that feeds the planet:

• Start with a vision quest. Many indigenous cultures hold the vision quest as a sacred element of finding one’s gift so that it can be brought into the community. Typically, the process involves a separation, an initiation, and a return to the community with a gift. Our fast-paced secular society rarely supports taking the time needed to find stillness, reconnect to the earth’s wisdom, and bring this gift into the world. But people who take a sabbatical from joyless work to evaluate their vision, values, and purpose often do find work that aligns with their authentic contribution. While extended travel may not be an option, it is possible for seekers to spend more time in nature or to visit retreat centers to find their vision. Even sitting outside with a contemplative question such as, “What is the earth’s calling for me?” can harvest guidance about one’s path.

 

• Discover the sacred gift inside the wound. Our wounds have immense power to transform our lives—and the world. The great mythologist Joseph Campbell believed that the hero’s journey requires living in “the dark belly of the whale.” Transforming wounds into sacred gifts requires a commitment to show up fully for our challenges with an understanding that they are the gateway to an initiatory journey. For example, Christina Pandolfo was passionate about health and wellness. She worked as an occupational therapist and went through a six-year period of chronic headaches, sensitivity to touch, and extreme fatigue. When her grandmother gave her an article about a woman who struggled with gluten, Christina, a pasta lover of Italian ancestry, resonated with it completely. She eliminated gluten from her diet. Her health—and life—transformed. Christina created a blog to help others live a gluten-free lifestyle. By turning toward one’s sacred wound, it is possible to transform it into work that feeds the planet.

 

• Transform complaints to celebration. Many people ultimately discover great joy in doing something to address their biggest complaint about the world. The soul wants to alchemically transform lead into gold. For example, a corporate employee named Linda, upset that low-income kids in urban environments didn’t have access to nature—access that she treasured—decided to lead nature-immersion experiences for youth. How can you transform your complaint into a cause for celebration and work you love doing?

 

• Practice self-care with earth care. Many people consider self-care to consist of personal practices that help them live with greater balance. However, personal sustainability and planetary sustainability are interconnected. Both are necessary ingredients for work that feeds the planet. Ellen Donald, executive director of an environmental nonprofit that works with young people, says: “We’ve become unbalanced in our personal lives, which has translated into an unbalancing of our entire system. Personal sustainability and planetary sustainability are iterations of the same idea: balance. To find this balance personally, identify what’s missing or what is unfulfilled and then create time for it—make it a priority.” Ellen restores her balance and is able to give because of her focus on personal sustainability, including riding her bike to work and eating organic foods. What keeps you sustainable?

 

• Thrive with your tribe. This time on our planet is one of building “beloved community,” in the words of Martin Luther King Jr. Each person has a unique gift and talent to contribute to this “Great Turning,” which Buddhist scholar and Deep Ecologist Joanna Macy describes as the life-sustaining civilization that is emerging on our planet. Imagine it’s 100 years from now, and you are looking back on your contribution. What do you want it to be? How do you want your family, especially your children, to remember you? What about your communities? With that in mind, what’s the one thing—big or small—you feel called to do? How can you create your authentic expression of work that makes a difference?

Tarra Christoff, MA, is an international career and leadership coach helping people create work that makes a difference. WorkThatMakesADifference.com